First of all, let me say I am thoroughly aware, accepting, and compassionate of and to your situation. I have a friend whose son has autism, and I have spent the last two years watching her struggle, fight, hurt, and succeed on his behalf. I know it is difficult to be different, because although I am not limited by any medical condition I have been in situations in which I was the lone outcast or in which I felt completely and totally ALONE.
Now, with that being said, let me tell you a thing or two. First of all, it wasn't your place to approach me and say a THING on behalf of your friend. IF your friend had a problem with anything my 8 year old child said, she should have cowgirled up and come to me herself. Secondly, I'm sorry your friend's child has a condition which unfortunately renders her "different" in our society. As I mentioned above, I have very little tolerance for displays of intolerance to difference.
I kept my composure, listened to what you had to say, and now--because I have battled myself since NOT saying what I SHOULD have said back to you in an attempt to not ruin YOUR day--you will hear what I have to say. My 8 year old is a lot of things. She's beautiful, intelligent, smart mouthed, witty, athletic, fun loving, impressionable, inquisitive...and that's the short list. What she is NOT is malicious, mean, or hateful. I don't say this because of what I see at home. I say it because a parent's greatest compliment is the feedback you receive when you send your child in public and someone has nothing but good things to say about them. I'm not bragging--wait, yes I am--but the WORST thing I've ever heard about Caeden was that she talks too much. Not talks mean, disrespectfully, or nastily, but just too much. I'm quite sure she knows bad words--she's heard them all around, but I also know that the fear of God has been instilled in her as far as letting an adult hear her utter even the BEGINNING syllables of a curse word.
You so calmly looked me and my husband in our faces and told us that Caeden said the word "midget." I'm sure to a person who is height challenged, being called a midget is quite an insult and may have been equivalent to being called, oh...a bitch, maybe. The thing about it is this: I asked Caeden if she said that, and she didn't give me the usual "oh, my, I might be in trouble because I shouldn't have said that" reaction she would've given me if she had said it. Instead, she was sincerely baffled and trying to figure out why I was asking her such an asinine question. If I had followed my first mind I would've called Caeden over to us when you came to report her "misdeed" and would've been able to correct you right then and there for lying on my child.
Not only did you lie on her, but you--a white woman--had the audacity to UTTER the word "Nigger" to me--likening the level of offensiveness of hearing that word to that of calling a little person a midget. I'm not even going down the "I'm not racist, I have white friends" road with you--anyone who has to defend their anti-racism with explanations of the color of their friends is automatically suspect to me, but let me tell you this: it was nothing short of a miracle from the ALMIGHTY GOD that I didn't forget who, where, and what I was and smack the taste of LIFE out of your mouth. I don't know what ship you rolled in on, but understand this: I don't say "Nigger" freely--even in slang it can have negative implications, but you--under no circumstances--should EVER, EVER, EVER say it. I'm really proud my husband didn't jump up and turn you into a Sportscenter highlight, but he didn't, and I'm proud
Anyway, lady, hear me: you are an offensive, bossy, and rude TRICK, and I hope you never run up on the wrong people spouting your insane nonsense. Be forewarned: my children are PRICELESS to me, and the quickest way to an immediate grave is to cross either them, the man who helped me make them, or the woman who made me. Think it's a game.
2 comments:
Oh my gosh, I'm appalled. I don't know how you didn't forget who you were and Whose you were...but I'm afraid under the circumstances, I might have! That is just horrible!
Wow.
You are a better person than most. That word is UGLY. You know as well as I that mam-maw would rise up and "knock us into next Tuesday" if we even formed out mouths to say it I still can't help but think that despite the fact that it is a word, it was a word used to demean and dehumanize us as a people. It goes along the same lines as bitch, ho, fatty, and even midget. One could even argue that while "midget" is not as harsh as a racial slur (which you pointed out), it still is along the same lines because it is an insult designed specifically to hurt an individual. If we as a people continue to embrace a word that has a negative connotation, we are in essence embracing the ignorance attached to it and accepting it as "law". We as a people need to stop using the excuse of "self empowerment by dis-empowerment" as a reason to continue to buy into the hype. The word nigger is a pejorative term used to refer to us; no one else but US. This word was created to let us know that not only are we recognized as different, but we are to be put in our "place" which is what she THOUGHT she was doing to you. I am not sure if you know who Duane “Dog” Chapman is but he has a hit show on A&E (one of my networks). There was a situation where he used the n-word incessantly in a private phone conversation. We pulled the show immediately but that didn’t negate the fact that he tossed that word around like it was pizza dough (but that’s another story).
Sorry to go off into a tangent but as you can see, I have NO TOLERANCE for racism. >(
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