People like to say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I've found this to be true....and false. While I find myself so often thinking about how Peerless feels about the possibility that football for him is over I had the chance to sit and think today of how I felt about it. It was during one of those VERY RARE moments when there's no one but me in the house, AND I get a chance to sit down and listen to silence. It was during that time that I realized, for myself, that this is the time of year when I'm usually packing myself and my kids up to go where ever our season would have us for that particular year. It's this time of year when I'm fitfully running back and forth to the airport to catch Peerless on those coveted days off from camp for a little, ahem, adult time. It's this time of year when I see all the hard work, dedication, and sacrifice my husband has made through the year come to fruition. It was during this time that I realized I hadn't had a chance to MISS Peerless this year. I didn't have to say goodbye as he went to mini camps or OTA's. I didn't have to go through what I've so fondly gotten used to calling "the July blues" as training camp nears. I didn't get a chance to let the absence let my heart grow fonder.
It was also during this time that I realized that Peerless' presence at home means so much more to me than it ever has. It means that I have a husband who can go to the gym with me; a husband who's able to pick two beautiful little girls up and twirl them around (not to mention picking up one BIG 31 year old and giving her a twirl of her own every now and then LOL); a husband who--as it stands right now--doesn't have to worry about taking a wrong hit or making a wrong move and ending up being carted off of a field, never to walk again. I realized that while we didn't separate this offseason, I separated what's real from what is fake; what's important from what's not; what makes everything alright from what messes things up. I realized that the absence I may feel in my heart when Peerless leaves for camp can never be underestimated. I can rest at ease that my husband is not living in a political world (football) where his 31 years is looked at as damn near senior citizen status.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder, but I promise you all that presence--of mind--makes the heart grow stronger.
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